


And God Banished The Devil.

by ShinerWrites



Series: Fantastic Crossover Crack [1]
Category: American (US) Actor RPF, Captain Marvel (2019), Captain Marvel (Marvel Comics), Music RPF, Professional Wrestling, Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Hell, I wrote this with my friend, I'm Going to Hell, Rap Battles, Satan-Taylor is transphobic, Tanooki Mario, Taylor Swift is Satan a la bart baker, Transphobia, angels and demons with big breasts, bart baker references, dildo crosses, maybe Morgan Freeman-God is straight idk, morgan freeman is god, trans flags, tw: Mentions of Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:35:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22950313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShinerWrites/pseuds/ShinerWrites
Summary: Taylor Swift is Satan, the ruler of Hell. For the first time ever, someone comes out as trans. God, aka, Morgan Freeman, is open to this, and says trans rights. Taylor, however, is not so happy. Taylor tries to seduce Carol Danvers, Morgan Freeman stops her, there are dildos, and there is a rap battle. Oh, and a bunch of other people are there for some reason.
Relationships: Taylor Swift/Carol Danvers
Series: Fantastic Crossover Crack [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757527
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	And God Banished The Devil.

**Author's Note:**

> Pre-story sorry.

It was dark and cold. Nasty, sexy demons and cruel people writhed amongst each other, holding snakes and spiders in their hands.

Sitting upon a throne, sat a mean-looking blond woman, dressed in tight leather, holding a leather whip, casually brushing a tied up sex slave demon.

A frightened looking assistant meandered over to the woman on the throne, looking up sheepishly, “madam, Mr. Freeman has requested a meeting about something new happening on earth.”

The woman spoke in a demonic voice, “I have already heard. I know what this is about. The ‘trans’ thing. Tell him I refuse to meet about it. I already have an action plan to eliminate that sort of conduct.”

“But-”

“GO!”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a bad day for Carol Danvers. She had just gotten done saving a whole city, when a tall blond woman broke into her apartment. She stood up, her unnaturally large breasts nearly popping her suit’s elastic seams.

“Who are you?” Carol asked, standing strong against the possible attacker.

“I am the one and only Taylor Swift, ruler of Hell,” the woman said.

Carol stared at her, disbelieving, “seriously? You don’t look like any Satan type to me.”

“SHUT UP! I EARNED MY PLACE WITH PRIDE!”   
  
Carol rolled her eyes, “More like your daddy’s money.”

“FUCK YOU, SURPRISINGLY SEXY BITCH!”

Carol smiled. “Nice. At least Satan has good taste.”   
  
Taylor frowned angrily. “Wow. Conceited.”

“This is coming from Slightly Sexy Satan.”   
  


“I AM known for having good taste in sexual conquests,” Taylor smirked, sitting in one of Carol’s chairs casually.

“Why are you even here?” Carol asked her, realizing she was talking to Satan.

“Oh, just hoping for a little action. Hell gets boring, all those dicks yelling at each other about the temperature of the coffee or the acidity of the spider blood wine or whatever.”

Taylor slid her long-nailed fingers slightly into Carol’s suit bottom.

Carol swallowed at her sudden arousal and moaned.

“Oh, honey. You’re so cute when you’re horny~”

Taylor slid her fingers all the way into Carol’s panties and-

“GET OUT OF THAT FINE-ASS PUSSY, YOU SATANIC BEEEEYAAAAAAAATCH!!!!”

It was God, or his other common name, Morgan Freeman!

“Ugh, Morgan, I am TRYING to have sex here!”

Morgan glared at Taylor, “No, you’re not!”

Freeman manifested two dildos with the trans flag on them and made the sign of the cross. “GO BACK TO YOUR SHITTY LESBIAN PIMP APARTMENT IN THE SOUTH BRONX!!”

Taylor smiled, “what, don’t like a little lesbianism? Thought you were inclusive.”

“Of course! If you aren’t harassing people, and trying to imbue them with your satanic juices!” Morgan shouted.

“Like a curse??!!” Carol yelled.

“EXACTLY,” Morgan said, “get out of here, Taylor!”

Taylor flipped Morgan off, “well, I’ll just take her with me, then.”

Taylor’s eyes began glowing red, “Ahchbwbdwidwevewvkewbkhwebfiue, HEDIWODHEIWOBDOUWEB.”

And Carol was sucked into Taylor’s left breast by an unseen force.

Taylor then disappeared.

100 miles away, a portal in hell suddenly grew inside a serial killer’s cock, exploding it.

“LESBIAN DEMON LADIES AND GAY DEVIL GUYS!! We have found our newest conquest. This will tip the scale and set us free onto the Aboveworld!””   
  
Taylor removed Carol from her left nipple, and pulled a bloody knife.

All the demons crowded around, chanting for her death. “Now, now, calm down. There’ll be plenty of blood to go around soon enough. Now, we will begin the Sacrificial Ritual.”

Carol screamed.

Taylor lifted her demon knife.

The blade swung downward…

“Didn’t I tell you not to come back here, bitch?”   
  
A white, pink, and blue portal opened in the distance.

Morgan Freeman and his disciples, Superman and Dwayne “The Holy Rock” Johnson, stepped out.

“You think you can get rid of trans rights? You think you can just sit here in the South Bronx and have your orgies of HATE??? Me and a few others have something to say about that.”

Thousands of portals opened behind Morgan Freeman. Out of them stepped the thiccest, biggest-breasted angels in the Kingdom of Freedom. They wore trans flags on their breasts. Out of the portals also stepped John Cena, Shakira, Sherlock and John Watson, Tanooki Mario, Katy Perry, and others.

All of them began chanting, “Trans rights! Trans rights!”

Taylor snarled, “There’s only one way to settle this.”

Morgan nodded, “For the first time ever, I agree.”

The two of them spoke at the same time “Rap battle!”

Taylor began rapping, “You think you can step to me? I write music professionally!”

The demons yelled “her job, motherfucker!”

Taylor continued, “so stare dumbfounded, and prepare to be beat!”

(“to the beat!”)

“I’m Satan, one and only. In Hell with my homies. Do you feel me? No confusion, cause hey, you gonna kill me, with ya crazy! You say Trans rights? Non-binary?? Buddy are you feeling well? There are only two genders in Hell!

Morgan then began rapping “Our father, up in heaven, hallowed be thy name, i’m bringin’ it, stop wingin’ it, you better step up your game! Miss Americana, without any Holy Spirit, droppin’ fire and brimstone, and you better fuckin’ hear it. You got no right to hate the people, just living their lives too. Keep on hatin’, skinny Satan, I’mma step all over you. Well, not today Satan, time to die, tryna take away the people’s rights, real nice try. Why don’tcha go n’ cry.”

Taylor’s rage intensified, “Oh how cute, you roasted me, your funny turn of phrase, all this just to not admit, that “trans” is just a phase. Fight me asshole, eat a stick, slit your throat, suck a dick. I say cute phrases too, all those phrases just for you.

My rhymes are flowing better now, anger drives me, that is how. Insult me just because you’re salty, think your brain’s kinda faulty.

I’m gonna shoot myself, give me a gun, fuck this asshole I’m done.”   
  
Morgan then stopped her. “No, Taylor, suicide is never the answer...”

Morgan took her gun away.

“...because I do it much better myself.”   
  
Morgan grabbed a cross-shaped transgun. “By the power of the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit…”   
  
Everyone on Morgan’s side yelled, “ **Meow.** ”

Taylor began convulsing and was forever banished to country music from then on.

Watson chimed in from the back, “who won? Who’s next? You deci-”

Sherlock put a hand over Watson’s mouth in annoyance, “Shut. Up.”

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Regular sorry.


End file.
